I don’t have a middle name but I’m pretty sure that procrastination would be it if there was.
I just posted something that I started working on back in October. Good lord, I hope my child does *NOT* inherit this gene.
There’s been alot that’s happened since October. Quickly though, as a side note, that friendship that I suppose I mistakenly committed the ultimate faux pas with is done and over with. Obviously there’s more to the story but i think that March is way too late in the game to vent haha.
There’s only 2 reasons why a woman would be happy to get a period.
1. That she’s not pregnant.
2. That she wants to start trying to get pregnant but has gotten off the pill and her body needs to adjust to the craziness. (for women who don’t experience – to their knowledge – fertility issues where this is an issue generally, this, obviously, doesn’t apply)
**please note, I am not speaking of the women who are kiss the moon and the ground and embrace the nightly blood that fertility etc etc – no offense but that isn’t me. Yes, I’m still a feminist.
So I went to see the fertility doctor at the start of November. By that point, I still had not gotten my period and I was tearing my hair out. I had been taking the folic acid for a solid 2 months or so by that point, I was starting to become obsessed with the lack of period.
I’m going to try to remember things and share them how they happened but I really should have stayed on top of this thing.
Of course I checked out what other people were saying about my particular fertility doctor. Funny thing about doc reviews; you’re gonna have good and you’re gonna have bad. The problem lays in where the bad is stemming from. From what I saw, it was people who didn’t get what they prayed for, or were having great difficulty doing so, who gave the negative reviews. (for the record, my doc was actually rated best in the city – doesn’t mean that we all get what we want though)
And fair enough. But for once, I wasn’t going to let that shape my decisions in doctors. My GP said that this one can create miracles and I just went with that.
When I met her, I was surprised. She was lovely, took my ridiculousness in stride – this is a mandatory thing for me – and answered all my questions.
What it boiled down to is that even before I went on the pill, I was never regular and this is what caused her concern. She adopted a ‘wait and see situation’ until mid-December. If nothing happened till then well …
Oh, I should mention the withdrawal bleed. First of all, ANYTHING can be a withdrawal bleed from what I could tell. I did get spotting for about a day. I thought that was my bleed. Don’t know if it was that or something kooky. But I still hadn’t gotten a proper period. Sometimes I wish the internet wasn’t as advanced as it was … this only adds to the panic.
And no matter how many times you scold yourself for looking, you still do it. And you’re still riling yourself up.
Back to the … then I would start going on ovulation hormones.
Of course, first thought is HOLY CRAP MULTIPLES.
The next thought is why doesn’t my body work the way it’s supposed to? I don’t understand. Okay I wasn’t regular before but this is a surprise. Other people have the same issues so what the hell is wrong with me?!
And then we get to particulars. My favourite question is why?
Let’s see … I was in love with someone who I wanted babies with. That person faltered on me too many times. I can’t chance that again with someone else. I want to be a mom more than anything. That was never off the table. It’s time before I get older and start worrying about other complications that may happen.
Doctor was nice. She smiled. Nodded. Said that there were many others in the same situation.
Can I now mention that my mother is in the room with me? For some strange reason, I thought she would be more understanding and on board with this style of procreation. So this conversation is more than a little awkward for me.
Next step is to meet with the social worker. After that, on Day 3 of my period, I would get blood tests and Day 10 would be sonograms to check out how many eggs I have and if my tubes are open.
And glory hallelujah on the second day of my vacation in Florida, I GOT MY PERIOD!!!!
And now we start figuring out what’s next.